No more faint next time... please...

It was my second time that I nearly fainted outside of my house. The first time was a few months ago when I was on my way back home after I met the doctor. Perhaps I was not feeling well on that day, when I was crossing the road, my vision getting blur. I was lucky as I managed to cross the road safely and took a rest at the nearby kopitiam. Last week, when I was walking back to my rented room, I dropped by at the same kopitiam. (Eh, the same kopitiam…?) While I was queuing up to buy the food, I suddenly felt nausea. My vision was getting blur while paying for the food. I quickly took a seat and rested. I started to recover but 5 minutes later, my vision turned blur again and suddenly 'blacked out'. I was sweating. I felt helpless at that moment. I wished to have someone to help me. I really do. At that moment, I really hoped my close friends or my family was there for me. But... none of them was there. I knew that I’ve to be strong… I kept on telling myself not to faint. I closed my eyes tightly and kept reminding myself. I felt really afraid... afraid that I'll faint; Afraid that I won't reach my home. After a few seconds, I tried to open my eyes… hoping that I’ll regain my sight. And… I really did! Still with my dizziness, I looked around and realized that the couple at the next table was looking at me. There were others who looked at me too. Paiseh…! If I had energy and not dizzy at that moment, I would have dash out from the shop. But, my legs and my head did not allow me to do that. To make sure that I could reach my house which is 10 minutes from there, I sat until I was confident enough to continue my ‘journey’. The 10 minutes ‘journey’ was really an exhausted one. It was as if a 30 minutes journey to me.

From this incident, I learnt not to walk out of the house alone if not feeling well; not to work too hard until ignore my health and… love our friends, because we’ll never know what will happen tomorrow. Thanks… thanks that I was safe and is still here to share out this experience… thanks ~ A great debt of gratitude ~

A Meaningful Experience with the Blind

It was the best experience that has raised my determination to continue exploring the life of the visual impaired. It was the "Simposium Teknologi dan Pameran Alat Bantu untuk OKU Penglihatan" which was held at Malaysian Association for the Blind (MAB). Two teachers and four students from my school were invited to this symposium and I'm the only sighted. This was my first experience to lead four totally blind (B1) individuals to walk on the road... and it's OUTSIDE of the school! I was nervous and doubted my ability to be a good leader (my aim was simple-as long as I won't cause any mishap to them).

Thanks to my friend who had guided me on the correct ways to lead the 'train'. As the 'captain of the train', I had to be aware of the surrounding, the best road to be taken (less traffic) and be extremely CAREFUL when cross the roads (we crossed 4 roads-2 of these are busy roads). Our destination? Our destination was KL Central... we walked from MAB at Brickfields to KL Central to take the LRT back to Wangsa Maju. It was as if I were having the night walk during BSMM camps... challenging!

We walked in a line, and I was the first to start the 'journey'. The passers-by were staring at us. Sigh... don't you ever see human? Why are you staring at us as if we were aliens? Perhaps they never see such a long 'train' walking on the roads. Well, never mind... who cares at your stares. I have to admit that, I was not a good guider. Once in a while, my students might knocked at the obstructions at the side of the roads. Now, I realized that there are SO MANY obstructions such as the motorcycles, pillars and even cars on the side of the roads. It's not pleasing at all... we 'knocked into' the obstructions several times... no no... I should say, I caused them knocked into these obstructions for several times. See... as I told you before, I was such a weak leader/guider.

I get a very meaningful experience through this. I was just lending my eyes to them but they taught me the reality of their life... far more challenging than mine. They have their night walk and jungle trekking all the times! What kind of community we are? This community belongs to everyone, not only for the sighted. Should we do something to include them into the community, to be more considerate? Should we???

Changing mindset

Time has passed so fast. This is my ninth month at my current school. I feel more relieved now and be able to accept that where I am now. It has been a tough moment for my first half year. It's not easy at all to teach without strong basic in this field. My soul rebelled for the first 6 months before I finally told myself to put a full stop to this. Why should I rebelled? Why not just accept this and continue the journey? Life goes on. No matter where am I now, I am still sharing the same aim-to help the children. The different is that, I am taking different route towards the destination. So, should I sigh any longer? No, no, no... move on and chase our dream no matter how long it takes! ^^

Rekreasi Dalam Komuniti (RDK)

Have you ever have a day with those exceptional? Well, I do. I’ve experienced this twice, thanks to my courses… PDK and RDK. For the latest semester, my course mate and I were having our RDK. It was a camp organized by us for the exceptional students from two selected schools in Kuantan. It was held in Taman Pertanian Jubli Perak Sultan Haji Ahmad Shah, Kuantan.

I guess you are asking me, what are so special about the camp? It is just another camp that most of us have joined since school time and the activities are almost the same… Jungle trekking, games etc. Well, if you are saying this, you are wrong. If you ask me, what are so special about this camp, my answer will be this: It was the special students that make the camp so special. This camp is the most meaningful camp to me, whether before, during or after the camp.

I learnt a lot from them. They are creative ‘children’ (I use the word ‘children’ because their development may be a little late compared to their normal friends. Most of them are already around 17 years old but you’ll never expect that their ages are that old. I still treat them as if they were children) who have different types of disability such as slow learner and Down Syndrome. They are exceptional but they have tremendous spirit. They are exceptional but they are brave. They are exceptional but they are willing to learn. They are exceptional but they are willing to face challenges. They are exceptional but they care for others. They are exceptional but there are strong ties of friendship between them. They are exceptional, but how many of us who are not disabled can perform as well as them? These special children are more outstanding than us in many ways.

The memory I have with them still vivid. I remember how I danced together with them. Ha… Ha… That was the first time I danced. I really did not want to teach them dancing because I do not want to mislead them. As the Malay’s proverb goes… Bagaikan ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan, I was ‘forced’ to teach them my umbrella dance. What I could do? My lecturer asked every of us to teach our own group members to dance. At that time, almost everyone was cursing my lecturer. Never heard of umbrella dance? Hehe… I do not feel surprised because I’m the one who created this dance. Every member of my group was holding the children umbrellas that I bought and there we go, dancing in front of the hall during Malam Kebudayaan with the Wonderful Day music. Oh, My God! If you were there, you’ll PENGSAN! But what has impressed me was the ability of the special children to perform very well during the Malam Kebudayaan.

During the Jungle Trekking, they could lead and help each others. They did not afraid of obstacles and manage to climb the bars, walked on the tree trunks which were being used to cross the stream, crossed a big hole in the ‘Tarzan way’, walked along the stream etc. Some of them did fall down while passing the obstacles but they have the spirit to stand back and try again. Again, how many of us can do this?

There are lots more to be shared with you but it’s better for you to try it yourself. Have a visit to any welfare home and you’ll find out many invaluable experiences. Sometimes, those exceptional are not disabled but they are treated as disabled and not given the opportunity to shine. THEY WILL SHINE IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY! I really miss the camp. When I listen to the song “Standing in the Eyes of the World’, it remind me of the children, standing together with us at the stage singing the song with our hands swaying to the left and to the right. It seems that they are telling us that they are standing in the eyes of the world. I love you all! (”,)

Together We Care

We all are really lucky to be able to use our senses. But can we make use of them by helping those who are not as lucky as us? You may help them by…

Open your heart for them,
Listen to their needs,
See what they lack of,
Speak of something which can create awareness among your friends so that they will…
Stand on their sides and do not insult them for their disability
Make use of your knowledge and try to apply it in a way where…
You can lend them a helping hand
And WALK by their sides, hand by hand
TOGETHER WE CARE… (“,)


~“You may think that what you are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop” -Anonymous~

To Let Go

It is a weary journey,

But I keep on walking along the road,

And I finally reach a wooden house.

I see a rainbow and try to grasp it,

But it disappears in the air.

It’s beautiful but I could not hold it tight in my arms,

I can only hold it tight in my mind.

I hear a white dove cooed softly at the wooden door,

As I drive myself towards it,

The dove lands on my hand,

I touch it but it wants to fly away.

I let it go,

Only to realize that it’s not easy to let go entirely.

I look inside my heart,

Only to see the word “MISS” engraved upon my heart.

I close my eyes,

Trying to let go what I have to let go,

To let the feeling fade away with time,

To open the box that kept the word “UNHAPPINESS”,

And let the word fly light in the air,

As how I have released the white dove flew freely in the sky.

I open my eyes,

Seeing the dove flying back to me,

It lands on my hand,

Picking the word “UNHAPPINESS” and flying back to the sky,

And finally fades in the sky.

I close my eyes,

Take a deep breath,

Letting go what I have to let go,

Is this what we called “The colours of life”?

Awareness

The public must learn that the blind man is neither genius nor a freak nor an idiot.

He has a mind that can be educated,

A hand which can be trained,

Ambitions which it is right for him to strive to realise,

And it is the duty of the public to help him make the best of himself so that he can win light through work.

~Helen Keller~