Being a teacher is not just as simple as standing in front and start the lesson. Being a teacher is not just about conveying the knowledge to the students. The job as a teacher is far beyond that.
Yesterday... yesterday had make me changed my view. It reminded me of my main reason to become a teacher, to be more specific... to be a special educator. Children here are facing the risk of being blind. They may turn blind at anytime. The bright sun might turn into a dark room the next day. She... she is one from this category. She is such a hardworking child. She's the only student who can finish the homework given by me on time. She's the only student who really respect the teachers in class. She is the only students who I think is reliable... in term of honesty and cleanliness. But, when it comes to studies, she's not competitive enough. No... she's not lazy. She always tries her best, does the works given to her. But, her effort doesn't seems to work. But, she never give up. She keeps on striving for the best. Wow, I really proud of her. Now, her sight is getting blur. I afraid that she might lost her sight one day. Seeing how her parents worried about her and how caring they are, suddenly have waken me up. Not everyone in this world is lucky.
Ironically, I got to realise that, she is the actual doctor who has given me the medicine of awareness and injected me with new hope and determination to continue this career. She's the teacher, who teach me about life. And I am just a little girl without anythings to be proud of... just merely a naive girl~~~
Have you ever have a day with those exceptional? Well, I do. I’ve experienced this twice, thanks to my courses… PDK and RDK. For the latest semester, my course mate and I were having our RDK. It was a camp organized by us for the exceptional students from two selected schools in Kuantan. It was held in Taman Pertanian Jubli Perak Sultan Haji Ahmad Shah, Kuantan.
I guess you are asking me, what are so special about the camp? It is just another camp that most of us have joined since school time and the activities are almost the same… Jungle trekking, games etc. Well, if you are saying this, you are wrong. If you ask me, what are so special about this camp, my answer will be this: It was the special students that make the camp so special. This camp is the most meaningful camp to me, whether before, during or after the camp.
I learnt a lot from them. They are creative ‘children’ (I use the word ‘children’ because their development may be a little late compared to their normal friends. Most of them are already around 17 years old but you’ll never expect that their ages are that old. I still treat them as if they were children) who have different types of disability such as slow learner and Down Syndrome. They are exceptional but they have tremendous spirit. They are exceptional but they are brave. They are exceptional but they are willing to learn. They are exceptional but they are willing to face challenges. They are exceptional but they care for others. They are exceptional but there are strong ties of friendship between them. They are exceptional, but how many of us who are not disabled can perform as well as them? These special children are more outstanding than us in many ways.
The memory I have with them still vivid. I remember how I danced together with them. Ha… Ha… That was the first time I danced. I really did not want to teach them dancing because I do not want to mislead them. As the Malay’s proverb goes… Bagaikan ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan, I was ‘forced’ to teach them my umbrella dance. What I could do? My lecturer asked every of us to teach our own group members to dance. At that time, almost everyone was cursing my lecturer. Never heard of umbrella dance? Hehe… I do not feel surprised because I’m the one who created this dance. Every member of my group was holding the children umbrellas that I bought and there we go, dancing in front of the hall during Malam Kebudayaan with the Wonderful Day music. Oh, My God! If you were there, you’ll PENGSAN! But what has impressed me was the ability of the special children to perform very well during the Malam Kebudayaan.
During the Jungle Trekking, they could lead and help each others. They did not afraid of obstacles and manage to climb the bars, walked on the tree trunks which were being used to cross the stream, crossed a big hole in the ‘Tarzan way’, walked along the stream etc. Some of them did fall down while passing the obstacles but they have the spirit to stand back and try again. Again, how many of us can do this?
There are lots more to be shared with you but it’s better for you to try it yourself. Have a visit to any welfare home and you’ll find out many invaluable experiences. Sometimes, those exceptional are not disabled but they are treated as disabled and not given the opportunity to shine. THEY WILL SHINE IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY! I really miss the camp. When I listen to the song “Standing in the Eyes of the World’, it remind me of the children, standing together with us at the stage singing the song with our hands swaying to the left and to the right. It seems that they are telling us that they are standing in the eyes of the world. I love you all! (”,)
I fall in love with S. S taught me how to care for others. That day, S took my hands and we danced together. Although without any music following us, we danced happily- left and right we went. I can’t stop giggling every time I thought back of it. S is not a ‘he’ and if you think that S is my boyfriend, you are being tricked by me to read my blog-Yeah! Hahaha! If you want to scold me for this, hope you will only do this only after you have read through this blog till the end. Please, please read this till the end…
S is a petite girl, about 4 years old who is one of the participants of PDK (Pusat Pemulihan Dalam Komuniti) at my hometown. She really CUTE! Physically, I can guess that she is a Down syndrome. There are few things which have impressed me. Once, her friend cried and I ask her to care for that girl “Sayang dia, sayang dia…”. Do you know what she did? She used her both hands to wipe the tears of her friends! At that time, I realized that action really speaks louder than word. When she played with two of her friends who are having difficulty in using their hands to throw a paper-made ball, she hold their hands and taught them how to make a throw. And … bla…bla…bla… Hehe, erm…there are lots more to be shared with you, but I guess you will not get the feeling that I was having at that time if you were not there. Want to know what I felt at that time? You go there lo =p .
S is one of many special ‘children’ who impressed me. Let me share with you about PDK (Pusat Pemulihan Dalam Komuniti) this time. It is a centre where those disabled who are not accepted by the school, are placed. They are taught to take care of themselves, how to socialize with others and many other basic skills. PDK is another course which is compulsory for Special Education and my coursemate and I need to give our service and organize program for them for one sem. What I’ve learnt from there? First of all, I can tell you that, they can make you forget about the problems you are having and bring you into their world. They made me laugh and of course, they also have made me realized how fortunate am I =D.
If you think that welfare home is a place for you to show your sympathy for those unfortunate, you are definitely WRONG! It is a place where love flourishes; it is a place that teaches you how to care for others; it is a place where you push aside the stigma towards them and make them have the feeling of being part of the community and tell them that they are just as other human beings in this world. What you can do for those disabled? Well, you need to let them discover their own ability and lead them to be independent. There are many things they can do if you teach them. Importantly, remember that they are not disabled and you should not do all the works for them, ending up causing them to learn nothing =)
There is someone who I know, was touched by a Down Syndrome girl’s condition and cried in front of her at the first time she visited a Mentally Retarded Centre. And there are also others who turn their back whenever they see those disabled. Well, how about you? What is your experience or what will be your first experience in such centre? If you want to know it, you need to discover it by yourself because what you are going to get is invaluable and can never be bought by money (You can donate money to them, but touching them and giving your love to them is thousand times more valuable than money alone). Hope after you have read my blog, you are touched to have visits to such centre. Have a nice day with them! I am very sure that you can brighten up their days! Remember… It is a blessing that you can give what you can to those in need rather than to receive from others. “Palm facing down is to help people; palm facing up is to ask for help”. Which are you? The answer is in your hand. (“,)
“You may think that what you are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop”- Anynomous
Eight weeks of practicum have finally end. But the moments with my students are still fresh on my mind. Miss them…
I still remember my first week of practicum… I felt desperate, not knowing how to teach them. It was so difficult to communicate with them, even simple words as I am not so good in using the sign language. I laughed together with the students when I have signed wrongly Mmm.. laugh together is better than being laughed right? ____________________________________________________________ Second week… I started to question my choice to be a teacher… Am I suitable to be a special education teacher? …Do I have the patience to teach them? …Do I have the skill to teach them and make them understand what I teach? …Will I be a good teacher or I am just wasting the place provided for those who really suit for this career? Thanks to the support from my sister and friends… And I did not give up. I continued my journey… I still remember … having an autistic student (who has a very big size) who wanted to beat his friend. I was sitting in the class when that autistic student wanted to get my student. Haha… I quickly locked my classroom door. He kept on bumping the door, making a lot of noise. My student quickly hid behind the door when the door was open. The autistic student went straight into my class, not realizing that my student was hiding behind the door. And… yup… my student fled out from the class, escaped from that autistic student… SO SMART! ____________________________________________________________ Third week… Students were having their examination throughout the week. My students’ main language is sign language… Sign language has it’s own structure and my students not really follow the grammar when signing. So, it’s a bit difficult for them to do the exam… Maybe it will work better if my students were tested using their language? ____________________________________________________________ Fourth week… I started to teach. I still having problem in using sign language. I was a teacher and at the same time I was a student to my students… I taught them Science, BM and Pendidikan Sivik dan Kewarganegaraan while they taught me sign language. I have to admit that they are very good in teaching sign language. They always respect me; will never say bad things about me although I’m not smart enough to use their language efficiently. They understand… They know my needs. But how many of us will do the same if vice versa? However… There was a sleepy handsome who always sleep in class… He will open his eyes and look at me for 5 seconds before laid back and closed his eyes… Or… He will talk and talk and talk with his friends and irritated them. So, I asked his friend to change place. And his friend did changed his place, moved his desk to behind (he lazy to take his things out from the drawer, so he just exchanged the desks) The sleepy handsome sensed that his friend did not want to sit beside him; he got angry and pushed the desk. Then he lay on the desk and cried for a moment before he took his bag and ran out from my class. I have no choice but to follow him-how if he commit suicide? Guess where he went? He went into the male toilet, hiding himself there. Very smart huh?… He knew that I cannot go into male’s toilet. I really wanted to get into the toilet but… paiseh la. Luckily there were few form 4 students that voluntarily help me to get him out but in vain. So, I got help from a male teacher to bring him out from that toilet. Haih, I guess that toilet smells good, that’s why he wanted to stay there. I tried to deal with this sleepy handsome. How leh? As I corrected his exercise book, I got an idea. I drew 2 pictures on his book- a big cross at the picture showing a boy sleeping and a big tick at the picture showing a hardworking boy. At the same time, I gave tokens to that class. Well, well… IT WORKS! Yippy…! ____________________________________________________________ Fifth week… My students had performance in Center Court. Seeing them performing made me felt that they are so special, so lovely. And I believe that… everyone can succeed if He works hard and works smart-so do I. So never give up! I still remember There was a cute autistic student… He liked to hit his friend. So, I hit him back everytime he hit his friend and told him that it was hurting and it’s wrong. Few days later, when I entered his class, he hit his friend for no reason. My friend, Shirling told me that the student did not hit his friend when she was in that class. Aiya… I was a catalyst for the hitting! He sure felt happy when I hit him, as if I was playing with him… BOOOMMM!!! So, like a small girl, I signed to him, “Kalau pukul dia, saya tak mahu kawan. TAK MAHU KAWAN!” and turned my head away from him. I did not respond to his call… and aiyaa… he “huh” me! Realizing that I did not want to friend with him, he drew pictures for me and wrote the word “communicate” and he did not hit his friend anymore. Hehe… See, so easy to handle him… hahaha! Naughty teacher.
____________________________________________________________ Sixth week…First observation from my lecturer. My students knew that someone was coming. I was totally shocked when I entered 1 Kurshiah. The students have 3600 changed in their attitude! No one slept, no one talked, and no one told joke. All the 6 pairs of eyes were looking at me, listen attentively during my class! While I was teaching, I was wondering whether there’s something wrong with them. They were too cooperative and I was grinning when I taught- tak tahan seeing their serious face. Luckily my lecturer did not observe me that day. Me lecturer observed me the next day. I was teaching 1 Durah at that time and the students also very good and serious on that day… hehe.. good students =p ____________________________________________________________ Seventh week… Final observation from my lecture and got first and second observation from my guru pembimbing. Hehe.. I started to become playful with my students… less serious than before when no one observed me. I felt more comfortable and happy if there’s no gap between the students and me. This week was the busiest week… everyday did my lesson plan, teaching materials, typing notes and exercise and check the students’ book… No need sleep lo.. got panda eyes already! ____________________________________________________________ Eight week… Got my final observation from my guru pembimbing. And it’s the final week of my practicum. It was the time for us to separate. So sad… need to separate with them, could not play with them anymore. I’ll miss you all, my students. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Ninth week… I am back to UKM, Leading the life as a student, Missing my lovely students. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I still remember having to move house, carried all the belongings with my friends using the trolley and moved to the house nearby at night as the previous owner wanted to cheat us.. haha. But at the same time, I realized that there are many caring neighbors who care for us. The place still has the kampung feels… Everyone is so friendly EXCEPT that 13 o ’clock renter. All my students are smart and I love them. They care for others. Once, there’s a student who lost his pencil case, stolen by his classmate. He cried and all his friends tried to console him, did not left him alone. A moment later, all the students gathered in the classroom, boys and girls were gathered separately by themselves without the teacher. Even my friends and me were not allowed to get into their ‘court’-they said that they could solved it by themselves. The boys were having meeting, as if in the court… asking who have bullied the student. No quarrel… everything was solved in peace. I am proud of them. How many of us will do the same, fight for justice and help their friend?
Eight week of practicum, A memorable moment, It has made me to realize many things, And I’ve learned a lot about life. The hardest moment… It is not the moment when I have no choice but to move house, Nor it was the moment when I have to burn the midnight oil. The hardest moment is when it’s time I have to say goodbye to my beloved students, to Seremban.
Today is my first lesson for Bahasa Isyarat Malaysia (BIM) basic level class. This is the extra course which I take outside of UKM to enhance my understanding of BIM. I’ve only learn about Kod Tangan Bahasa Malaysia (KTBM) in UKM and that’s not enough for me to teach in future. KTBM is a manually coded language (”sign language” versions of spoken languages) and not the real sign language of the Deaf. The real sign language for the Deaf is known as BIM. My first lesson was about Visual Gesture Communication (VGC) and facial expressions. The way my instructor, Yee Ke Xin taught us is totally different from the way I was taught before. I give credit to her. Although Ke Xin taught us without using any voice, I understood what she taught. Her message was very clear. I am wondering whether I can perform as well as her when I teach in future. If I can teach as well as her, using facial expressions, VGC and the correct sign language, I am sure that the students will perform better provided that the students are willing to work hard. Besides that, I will not have to learn signing from students anymore… the experience that I got during my practicum is enough for me. I have to perform better than the students to get their attention and respect. The most important technique to teach them is to be part of them, to be able to understand their culture and to be able to use their language effectively. I am still lack of confidence and hesitate my performance but I know that I have to work for the better. This needs strong determination. As I’ve already put my first step forward, I know that I shall continue my steps towards the ‘Miracle tree’ that is standing still far in front, waiting for me to put fertilizer so that it will bear flowers and fruits by itself. I’ll walk along that path- the road I’ve taken unless… unless one day I feel weary. Then, I may stop, feeling heartache… staring at the tree in front which is fruitless. I hope that I will not get burnout in future but there are many unpredictable things in this world. Miracle tree… my steps may be slow, wait for me because I want to see you growing with beautiful flowers and fruits. Living with hope and uncertainty…
